Reflcting on Reflecting

Last night we had TI and I learned what I probably kind of knew, that I wasn't spending enough time on my reflections, or that I didn't reflect enough.

So here goes.

Since VirtCamp, I have learned about juggling. I realize I am so busy that I don't often let myself get to the reflection. I've been thinking about this since last night when my predictions were confirmed. I think there is a sense of fear as well. I'm a little afraid of going there but I do know, I don't know myself well enough. I think blogging is a good exercise for me because it gets me to my reflection...or at least I think it will.

So the comment MM made was to take your brain out and look at it.

When I stand back from myself I see a few things. One I see a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. I see all the roles I play in relationships which are vitally important. Sometimes I think to a fault. One of my one values and sayings that defines me is "there is always time". This saying sometimes comes back to haunt me when I don't get enough sleep or don't spend enough time doing what I want or need to take care of myself. I know I have always been a busy person, but this last year has brought me to a new level of busy.

I have learned maybe I haven't been learning from my mistakes because I don't have time to process what is happening. I have so many ideas I don't know what to do with them. In this program even more so, ideas of businesses to start, ways to expand my business and how I make my income. I'm used to doing, not thinking.

The other thing MM says which I think I'm addressing now is what makes me tick.

As I mentioned above, my relationships are a large part of what makes me tick. I am a very relationship driven person and my relationships are very important to me. It is very important that I am there when people in my life need me, especially my mom. Since my Dad died, one of the things that consumes me everyday is my mom and is she ok and can I do something to make her less sad.

I feel like I'm all over the board here...I'm not letting any particular thought get to a reflection so I'm going to focus.

OK back to reflecting on reflecting....

I think I'm so busy trying to juggle my time and all the other parts of my life, I'm just trying to check things off. I'm not spending enough time getting to the aha moments. This will be part of my goal for this program. I think I also confuse reflections with my feelings, which I'm not sure are the same. I'm used to journaling how I feel and how it made me feel etc, but not what I have learned or why I did what I did. This will be very good for me I know.

If I try to stand outside myself and look at myself, I see a VERY busy person, that is the most obvious thing to me. Over the last month I have learned I'm a pretty good task manager. My approach to things is that of a fireman. For me this doesn't mean you just put out fires but you put out the BIGGEST fires first. I don't only have one fire in my life, I literally have many, I just have to decide everyday which one to put out. Then I'm afraid I'm not spending enough time with my kids, husband etc. I think I have a tremendous amount of guilt to work through for being a working mom, but that's a different blog.

I also feel like I'm too preoccupied with finishing things that I do miss the process. I'm so busy trying to move on to the next thing. For example, right now I'm trying so hard to get this done so I can get my timeline done so we can go to the lake. I don't let myself get to the reflection. This is going to be a real challenge for me.

I need to slow down enough to think a little. so feedback anyone??? HELP!!

Mars Rover Reflections from VirtCamp

Reflections on the Mars Rover Mission

Thursday
Today we redesigned the vehicle. We’ve decided to have the arm go down and over instead of pinching together. We are all working well together. We all seem to participating in all the parts. We are feeling a little behind but we don’t seem to be stressed out yet. We are frustrated with the programming. We are definitely multi-tasking. It seems unreal that we only have one day left.

Friday
We are a little frustrated. We have had to redesign a few times. I think the concept of redesigning is especially important to keep retesting. Reflecting, I can’t help but think about when new theories are developed, they should as soon as possible be brought into a testing environment. So as not too get to far down a road or redesigning, it’s better to test as the theory evolves, instead of waiting until you have a finished product. The evolution of our product has changed in many ways but we’ve sometimes gotten too far down a road before we realized our errors. Again, the process of redesigning. We have, of course become quicker in our designs as time goes. Quicker to readjust our theories and we ask better questions earlier on.

We’ve each taken on some things individually but are also involved together. Although some of the projects lend themselves better to working alone, others definitely are better with collaboration. Again, like in an educational setting some things are better as groups, other parts some individual, then collaboration.

Juggling has been key. I think it’s been the intention of the program to give us many things to think about as well as many hurdles to overcome, many of them technological hurdles. Most of us have been introduced to some new technology and tried to apply. In our groups, it seems that none of us know everything, We also seem to be able to understand each others personalities better after problem solving together.

Brainstorming Reflections...
Reflections….
During the process we realized we learned 10-15 minutes after the moment, we walked away, realized after something started working.

Scott - I have two hard drives, the left side of my brain and the right side of my brain
Susan – step away from the computer
Christian – Isn’t this weird? Don’t you think the BLOG’s spellcheck should recognize the word “blog”
Chrisitian – “Do we have an email account for blackboard”
Christian – “what do you think the worst program in history is?” Susan “AVID”
Christina, “Blackboard”
Kari “My brain is starting to shut down”
Susan “Is someone getting this?”
Christian “We’re talking like it was blackboard or something”
What should we call it, “mission to mars video”?





The gratification of learning comes at different stages, different times.

Without the frustration, you wouldn’t be as thrilled.

It’s the highs and the lows are important. If things aren’t ever too bad, then the highs don’t seem so high, they are relative. This is not only true with learning.

I thought it was good, I like projects where people actually work together. Where you can truly hand off a project and know the next person is going to do the best job they can. It was truly teamwork, we each did things and none of us worried about what the other one was doing, we had confidence in the others abilities.

Reflecting, I can’t help but think about when new theories are developed, they should as soon as possible be brought into a testing environment. So as not too get to far down a road or redesigning, it’s better to test as the theory evolves, instead of waiting until you have a finished product. The evolution of our product has changed in many ways but we’ve sometimes gotten too far down a road before we realized our errors. Again, the process of redesigning. We have, of course become quicker in our designs as time goes. Quicker to readjust our theories and we ask better questions earlier on.


Susan learned when you save something, look to see where it’s being savaed.




Group Reflections

∑ The reward in learning wasn’t realized until 10-15 minutes after we had moved on to the next stage.
∑ The gratification of learning comes at different stages, different times.
∑ Without the frustrations, you wouldn’t be as thrilled.
∑ The highs and the lows are important. The extreme lows make the extreme highs; they are relative. This is not only true with learning.
∑ I like projects where people actually work together. Where you can truly hand off a project and know the next person is going to do the best job they can. It was truly teamwork, we each did things and none of us worried about what the other one was doing, we had confidence in the others abilities.
∑ Reflecting, I can’t help but think about when new theories are developed, they should as soon as possible be brought into a testing environment. We determined it’s better to test as the theory evolves, instead of waiting until you have a finished product.
∑ The evolution of our product has changed in many ways but we’ve sometimes gotten too far down a road before we realized our errors. We have become quicker in our designs as time goes. Quicker to readjust our theories and we ask better questions earlier on.

First Night at Virtcamp

The First Night of VirtCamp

It’s the first night of virtcamp. We’ve just had dinner. Our first activity was an iron chef activity. We were asked to write about how we are feeling. We are exploring the process of reflecting.

There are a lot of things going through my head. First, I’m nervous about being able to balance this with everything else in my life. I’m not feeling like I shouldn’t be in the program, but just how its going to fit with the rest of my life. I heard so many people talk about their interesting jobs and I know I’m ready for a change, but I don’t know exactly what that means for me. I keep trying to think, what do I want to do with this? I am very excited about the whole “process” and the things I am about to be exposed to. I feel like everyone here has a cooler job than I do. Right now, I feel like I want to work in a school district and also to teach part time. But then I think about other possibilities, like maybe I could start a virtual program like this at Concordia or some other school in the twin cities. I love being on campus and I love this process of alternative learning. I want to work at a university I think or some higher ed institute. RIGHT NOW, I think it would be cool to keep going with my education and to get a doctorate degree. One thing at a time I guess.

I miss the boys a lot. There seem to be quite a few people that have small kids which is reassuring to me. I feel like I’ve been behind the 8 ball coming in, behind on everything so I hope I can keep this up. I have so many unfinished things looming out there, but I know that I want to do this.


More later….

Well I intended to write more but I really am so tired I think I will collapse. I really think I want to work at a university though. I’m very inspired by that idea…how can I do that?

The Act of Juggling

Well, blogging is definately new, as are many other things in OMET but today I'm feeling ok about it all.

It's been a tough month for me. Moving, finishing the house, juggling the kids, not having internet, having a heavy work schedule but so far I've not doubted my decision. I only wish I had more time to spend. I've been keeping up ok but I'd say just barely keeping my head above water.

I'm out of town traveling now, in San Fran and my flight to Eureka last night got cancelled so I've taken the day to kind of catch up on some things so I think that is why I'm feeling better.

My analogy on Friday was I'm juggling and I have so many balls in the air. I'm afraid they are all going to come crashing down on me at the same time. Right now I've been able to keep them all in the air still and I only hope I can keep this up.

My biggest challenge right now is to determine my ARP. I think I've determined that Rising Stars will be the environment and I'm good with that. More on that in my ARP blog.

It's been good I haven't been traveling, I think that has helped. I also have a decent workload and some great prospects.

As I'm progressing through the readings and discussions, I get so many ideas I don't know how to work them all. Maybe a blog is the way to organize those thoughts.

I've determined a few things I really want however.

One is balance in my life. That has been lacking these last 2 years as we have been building the hosue and I have been supporting us. I'm veyr much looking forward to a change on that front. In close conjunction with that, I want to cut my travel WAY back.

Two, my goals for my career. The more I'm around teachers and education, the more sure I am I want to be more and more involved in that arena. I really think trying to find some type of higher ed program to teach some online courses would be ideal. I'd love to collaborate with someone to build a program like Sue has done at Pepperdine.

Three, be involved in professional development locally in some of the school districts around me. Bernard had some great ideas and I'm going to talk to him further about those and start to implement them.

That's all for now...going to try to keep catching up.